The One Beard of Trust

If you know me on a personal level you probably know that I am a little OCD about things. I like to live in a tidy way. I like to hag my shirts on hangers all facing the same way, with the shirts facing to the left. I like to throw away or donate things that I don’t use any more and I definitely like to shower twice a day and shave in the morning. Well, I forgot to bring my razor to Texas with me. Then I didn’t want to use Jenee’s only spare blade and then I forgot to buy a new one at the shop. So, five days later I still haven't shaved and I have quite a handsome beard on the way.

Jenee likes it, so much so that I could be guilty of making her stumble if we weren’t married. In fact, I think the beard has some kind of hidden power, kind of like a famous ring I know about. Case in point, we were happily cruising down the highway in north Texas in the middle of no where when a Highway Patrol Officer Pulled me over. I was very polite and followed the correct etiquette (pull over as far as possible, engine off, window down sunglasses off and hands on steering wheel) and the officer asked us about where our front license plate was. He was nice enough to issue a warning. I am putting it down to the beard; it has the warming effect on folks. Again, we had a nice conversation with a lady at a truck stop (I also think I saw C-Bass from Dumb and Dumber). The lady even charged me the price for a small cup of ice instead of a large cup! I’m telling you, this beard has the power. I wonder if it is my hidden super power, like Samson and his hair? Jenee thinks I should grow it long enough to braid it. I’m thinking it will go with my new Tattoo and my Harley. What do you think Mum?

I can wait, maybe I could use it to talk to a wild bear in St. Elmo or ride a Moose? I definitely feel that it will help me blend into my surroundings in both wild and urban environments. Oh my goodness, I could be the next Chuck Norris?!!!?! I am going to buy a Total Gym and get buff like Chuck too! Since becoming a beard wearer, I have become aware of a whole new array of accessories that can tend to my beard. Like the Titanium Beard Groomer we saw at Wal-Mart. The world of beards is awesome, now I know why Dad has had one all these years.